Parts of a Marriage

THIS IS MY LAST POST OF THE SEMESTER AND I WANT TO MAKE IT THE BEST YET. THIS WEEK I AM GOING TO TALK ABOUT DIVORCE, REMARRYING, AND AGING MARRIAGES. ALTHOUGH I HAVE NEVER EXPERIENCED ANY OF THESE THINGS FIRST HAND, I HAVE HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO SEE HOW THESE DIFFERENT PARTS OF MARRIAGE EFFECT THE MARRIAGE ITSELF. I BELIEVE THAT ALL OF THESE WOULD BE TERRIBLY DIFFICULT TO DEAL WITH AND LEARN HOW TO NAVIGATE THESE EXPERIENCES, BUT I HAVE SEEN MANY PEOPLE HANDLE THIS ROUGH TIME WITH SUCH GRACE. THESE ARE SOME OF THE THINGS I HOPE I NEVER HAVE TO EXPERIENCE EXCEPT FOR THE AGING MARRIAGE ASPECT WHICH CAN HAPPEN TO ANY COUPLE AND BE NAVIGATED THROUGH TOGETHER. DIVORCE IS A VERY SAD TOPIC, THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN COUPLES HAVE TRIED THEIR BEST TO GET PAST THEIR DIFFERENCES AS WELL AS WHEN OTHER FACTORS OF LIFE BRING TOO MUCH STRESS INTO THE RELATIONSHIP. SOME COUPLES ARE ABLE TO WORK THROUGH THESE THINGS AND GROW CLOSER BY OVERCOMING THESE DISAGREEMENTS, WHILE ON THE OTHER HAND SOME OF THESE TRIALS ARE FAR TOO HARD TO TAKE ON AND CONQUER. THIS CAN BRING MUCH UNHAPPINESS IN A RELATIONSHIP AND AT SOME POINT IT BECOMES TOO MUCH OF A BURDEN ON THESE INDIVIDUALS. IT IS WISE FOR COUPLES WHEN THEY ARE EXPERIENCING THESE THINGS TO SEEK COUNSEL FROM THE LORD AS WELL AS THEIR BISHOP OR A MARRIAGE AND FAMILY COUNSELOR. THE COUPLE SHOULD ALSO PRAY TOGETHER ABOUT THIS DECISION AND MAKE SURE IT IS THE RIGHT THING FOR THEM AND THEIR FAMILY AND CHILDREN’S HAPPINESS. REMARRYING CAN ALSO BE A VERY TOUCHY TOPIC. ONCE A MAN OR WOMAN IS DIVORCED FROM THEIR SPOUSE IT MAY TAKE A WHILE UNTIL THEY WANT YO GET BACK INTO THE DATING WORLD. THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO RUSH AND IT IS IMPORTANT TO TAKE TIME TO HEAL AND FOCUS ON THEMSELVES BEFORE JUMPING INTO ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP. THESE INDIVIDUALS SHOULD ALSO CONSIDER HOW SOMETHING LIKE THIS WOULD EFFECT THE REST OF THEIR FAMILY AND LOVED ONES. ULTIMATELY IF THIS PERSON FEELS THAT ITS THE RIGHT CHOICE FOR THEM, THEN THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO PROBLEM WITH THEM REMARRYING SOMEONE ELSE THEY NOW LOVE AND ARE HAPPY WITH. IT IS SO IMPORTANT TO CONSIDER THOSE AROUND YOU’S FEELINGS AS WELL AS YOUR OWN! REMARRYING IS A VERY BIG DECISION AND SHOULD BE THOUGHT ABOUT FOR A WHILE AND PRAYED ABOUT, ALTHOUGH IT MAY SEEM TOO QUICK OR SLOW TO OTHERS, BUT IN REALITY IT IS IN THE LORD’S TIME AS WELL AS THE PEOPLE WHO ARE GETTING MARRIED. IT IS NOT OUR PLACE TO JUDGE OTHERS ON THESE DECISIONS AND IT IS IMPORTANT TO KEEP OUR OPINIONS ABOUT THESE THINGS TO OURSELVES. HAVING THE OPPORTUNITY TO FIND LOVE AGAIN AND TO BE MARRIED AGAIN IS SUCH A BLESSING AND THE LORD WILL BE WITH YOU AS LONG AS YOU GO ABOUT IT THE RIGHT WAY. THE LAST THING I WOULD LIKE TO DISCUSS IS AGING MARRIAGES. MARRIAGES ARE BOUND TO AGE AT SOME POINT OR ANOTHER, IT CAN ALSO HAPPEN IN ALL DIFFERENT SHAPES AND FORMS. THIS MAY BE A HARD ADJUSTMENT TO MAKE AND IT TAKES A LOT OF WORK FROM BOTH SPOUSES TO BE ABLE TO GET OVER THESE NEW ADJUSTMENTS. WITH THE LORD COUPLES WILL BE ABLE TO GET THROUGH THESE HARD TIMES AND REMAIN CLOSE AS WELL AS MAINTAINING A GREAT RELATIONSHIP. ALSO BY MAINTAINING A CLOSE RELATIONSHIP WITH THE LORD WE WILL BE ABLE TO BETTER OURSELVES INDIVIDUALLY AS WELL AS AS A COUPLE. WE CAN RECEIVE BLESSINGS OF HAPPINESS BY FOLLOWING THESE TEACHINGS AND COMING CLOSER TO OUR LORD. 

Parenting

BEING A PARENT IS A HUGE RESPONSIBILITY AND TAKES A LOT OF COURAGE. I AM A PARENT AND HAVE BEEN FOR THE PAST THREE YEARS. I HAVE A THREE YEAR OLD DAUGHTER NAMED BELLA. SHE IS THE BEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME AND CONTINUES TO TEACH ME HOW TO LOVE AND LEARN NEW THINGS EACH AND EVERY DAY. I GET TO TALK TO MY DAUGHTER EVERY DAY ON THE PHONE AND IT IS THE HIGHLIGHT OF MY DAY AND REMINDS ME TO KEEP PUSHING FORWARD AND TO NEVER GIVE UP ON ANYTHING IN LIFE. SHE HAS ALSO TAUGHT ME THAT ALTHOUGH THINGS DO NOT ALWAYS GO AS PLANNED, HEAVENLY FATHER WILL MAKE SURE THE TURN OUT ALRIGHT. I NEVER KNEW MY BIRTH PARENTS GROWING UP. I WAS ADOPTED WHEN I WAS A BABY AND WAS RAISED BY A LOVING MOTHER FIGURE FOR THE YOUNGER YEARS OF MY LIFE. I KNEW SHE WASN’T MY REAL MOTHER THOUGH, AND THIS BOTHERED ME AND CONTINUED TO FORM MANY YEARS. MY ADOPTED MOTHER DIED WHEN I WAS A TEENAGER AND FOR A WHILE, I FELT LIKE I HAD NO ONE. LITTLE DID I KNOW, MY FATHER AND HEAVEN WAS LOOKING OVER ME AND HAD SOMETHING GREAT IN STORE FOR ME. I WAS SOON INTRODUCED TO THE GOSPEL AND THIS WAS A HUGE CHANGE TO MY LIFE. I NEVER FELT LIKE I HAD BELONGED ANYWHERE, BUT WHEN I ATTENDED CHURCH AND WAS SURROUNDED BY THE MEMBERS, I FELT WELCOME. I FELT LIKE THIS WAS SOMEWHERE I WAS MEANT TO BE. I ALSO FELT BEGAN TO KNOW THAT I HAVE A FATHER IN HEAVEN AND THAT ALTHOUGH I DID NOT REMEMBER HIM, HE REMEMBERED ME AND HE HAS A PLAN FOR ME PERSONALLY. THIS WAS THE BEST NEWS TO HEAR, TO KNOW THAT I DO HAVE A FATHER WHO LOVES ME SO MUCH THAT HE SENT HIS SON TO DIE FOR ME SO THAT I CAN LIVE WITH HIM AGAIN. THIS KNOWLEDGE HAS BEEN SUCH A BLESSING IN MY LIFE AND HAS PROVIDED ME WITH SO MUCH COMFORT. I FINALLY FEEL NEEDED SOMEWHERE AND I KNOW THAT SOMEONE LOVES ME INFINITELY. AFTER I JOINED THE CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST OF LATTER DAY SAINTS, I MET A FAMILY IN MY WARD WHO WAS SO KIND TO ME. THEY TREATED ME LIKE I WAS SOMEONE SPECIAL AND LIKE I DESERVED TO BE LOVED. THIS WAS TRULY A BLESSING TO ME. WHEN I DECIDED TO GO BYUI, THEY OFFERED FOR ME TO SPEND THE NIGHT IN THEIR HOME AND GIVE ME A RIDE TO THE AIRPORT IN THE MORNING. I TOOK THEM UP ON THIS OFFER AND EVER SINCE WE HAVE HAD SUCH AN AMAZING BOND. I CALL THEM MY MOM AND DAD BECAUSE I FEEL THAT THEY TRULY FIT THE ROLE TO BE MY MOTHER AND FATHER. THEY HAVE TREATED ME LIKE FAMILY EVER SINCE I MET THEM AND NOW, THEY TRULY ARE MY FAMILY. I AM SO THANKFUL FOR THEM AND THE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND SUPPORT THAT THEY HAVE SHOWN ME THROUGHOUT THE YEARS. THEY HAVE SHOWN ME WHAT IT TRULY MEANS TO BE A MOTHER AND FATHER AND HOW TO RAISE A CHILD IN A LOVING ENVIRONMENT. I HAVE A BROTHER AND SISTER AS WELL AND THEY TOO HAVE SHOWN ME WHAT LOVE IS REALLY LIKE AND HAS HELPED ME BECOME THE INDIVIDUAL THAT I AM TODAY. I AM SO THANKFUL FOR MY PARENTS AND THE EXAMPLES THAT THEY HAVE SET FOR ME AND I WANT TO FOLLOW AND HONOR THEIR EXAMPLES BY BEING THE BEST FATHER THAT I CAN BE TO MY DAUGHTER AS WELL AS ANY OTHER FUTURE CHILDREN I HAVE.

Fatherhood

 I AM A FATHER AND HAVE BEEN FOR A LITTLE OVER THREE YEARS NOW. BECOMING A FATHER WAS SCARY AT FIRST BUT HAS TURNED OUT TO BE ONE OF THE BEST THINGS THAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME. MY DAUGHTER’S NAME IS BELLA, SHE IS THREE YEARS OLD AND SHE IS SO INTELLIGENT. I WAS HOME WITH HER FOR ABOUT THE FIRST YEAR OF HER LIFE AND IT WAS THE MOST DELIGHTFUL TIMES TO SEE HER GROW AND LEARN AND DEVELOP INTO THE SWEET GIRL SHE IS. I WENT TO SCHOOL WHEN SHE WAS ONE AND DECIDED THAT THIS WOULD BE THE BEST OPPORTUNITY FOR ME TO CREATE THE BEST LIFE FOR MY DAUGHTER POSSIBLE. I TALK TO MY DAUGHTER EVERY DAY AND TRY TO GO HOME TO VISIT AS OFTEN AS I CAN. ON THE OTHER HAND, I DID NOT REALLY HAVE A FATHER FIGURE GROWING UP MOST OF MY LIFE. I HAD AN ADOPTED MOTHER BUT NOT ADOPTED FATHER FROM BIRTH, AND THIS SHOWED ME THAT A MOTHER FIGURE CAN TRULY TAKE ON THE ROLE OF BOTH PARENTS. NOT HAVING A FATHER FIGURE MADE ME WANT TO BE A PART OF MY DAUGHTER’S LIFE EVEN MORE AND BE AS INVOLVED AS I POSSIBLY CAN BE. I FIGURE ALTHOUGH I DIDN’T HAVE SOMEONE THERE TO SHOW ME THINGS THAT ONLY A FATHER CAN AND TEACH ME CERTAIN THINGS AND LOVE ME, I CAN DO THIS FOR MY DAUGHTER AND SHOW HER WHAT UNCONDITIONAL LOVE IS REALLY LIKE. I ALSO LEARNED WHILE PREPARING FOR THIS FROM PRESIDENT N. ELDON TANNER, THAT FATHERHOOD IS REALLY A PRIVILEGE AND A BLESSINGS IN OUR LIVES. WE SHOULD DO ALL THAT IS IN OUR POWER TO PRESIDE OVER OUR HOMES WITH LOVE. AS A FATHER WE ARE KNOWN AS THE HEAD OF THE HOUSEHOLD, ALTHOUGH I BELIEVE THIS SHOULD BE SHARED BETWEEN A MAN AND WIFE AND THAT THEY SHOULD BOTH BE KNOWN AS THE HEAD OF THE HOUSEHOLD. ANOTHER DUTY AS A FATHER THAT I HAVE AND THAT I DID NOT EXPERIENCE AS MUCH IN MY LIFE IS BEING ABLE TO TEACH MY CHILDREN TO LOVE THE GOSPEL AND FOLLOW THE COMMANDMENTS. I NOW HAVE AN A FATHER FIGURE IN MY LIFE, HIS NAME IS JOE. MY DAD HAS REALLY SHOWN ME WHAT IT MEANS TO LOVE HIS CHILDREN AND TEACH THEM TO BE RIGHTEOUS AND TO LOVE THE GOSPEL. HE HAS SET A GREAT EXAMPLE FOR ME AS WELL AS MY YOUNGER SIBLINGS AND I HOPE TO BE ABLE TO TAKE THE THINGS THAT HE HAS TAUHT ME AND TEACH THEM TO MY DAUGHTER AS WELL AS MY FUTURE CHILDREN. A FATHER’S JOB IS ALSO TO PREPARE HIS CHILDREN FOR THE WORLD AND ANY CHALLENGES THEY MAY FACE. HE IS TO PREPARE THEM SO THAT WHEN THEY ARE IN THESE SITUATIONS, THEY KNOW WHAT TO DO AND HOW TO GET THROUGH THESE HARD THINGS. I ALSO BELIEVE THAT AS A FATHER I HAVE A DUTY TO LOVE MY WIFE AND THE MOTHER OF MY CHILDREN AND SHOW THEM THAT THEY ARE IN A LOVING HOME AND ARE BEING REARED BY LOVING PARENTS WHO CAN GUIDE THEM IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION. THIS IS SUCH AN IMPORTANT TEACHING IN THE GOSPEL AND I AM THANKFUL THAT MY PARENTS HAVE TAUGHT ME THESE THINGS IN THE SHORT TIME I HAVE KNOWN THEM I AM ALSO THANKFUL THAT I HAVE HAD DIFFERENT FATHER FIGURES IN THE CHURCH THAT HAVE BEEN ABLE TO SHOW ME THESE THINGS AND TEACH ME THEM SO THAT I CAN IMPLEMENT THEM INTO MY LIFE WHEN I AM MARRIED AND HAVE A FAMILY OF MY OWN AS WELL AS WITH MY DAUGHTER, BELLA CURRENTLY. I AM SO THANKFUL FOR MY HEAVENLY FATHER AND HIS PLAN AND ALL THE BLESSINGS HE HAS PLACED IN MY LIFE.